Heavenly Meeting Place – (97′ or 98′ post-conversion)

The lead-up to the dream:

  So, after a few days of drugs and sin and after the drugs and sin where over, I was spent, and “The Voices” began hounding me as was there practice after the sin and drugs were over. Typically, I would do my best to ignore them but this time there was something different. At my camp the voices were now telling me that Satan was coming. I did my best to take that in stride but I soon caught a glimpse of my dog, Jake staring intently with a gaze that stopped my heart…someone was there. I followed his gaze across the camp and there, stepping into the camp, and coming to a regal broadside stance, was a large Blacktail buck deer with a large set of antlers. (for another antler reference dream see this: Dream: Sin, at the door Pg. 65) I had never seen a buck come into my camp before…every cell in my body came to it’s highest alert. It was the concurrence of the never before happening of the voices saying that Satan was coming, and then the never before happening of a buck coming into camp that chilled me. I didn’t think that the deer was actually Satan but something was going on, Fight or Flight! But first I waited for the buck to move out.

I then chose as a controlled flight as I could possibly muster. My heart was racing, so much so, that I planned on stopping somewhere in my van to get some aspirin to prevent a heart attack. I’ve never had that plan or thought before or since. So, I was leaving at a run. I began tensely breaking camp and loading my van, I wanted to get out of the woods and get to somewhere friendly, I decided to go to my friend Randy’s house in NE Portland where I could park my van and get some needed sleep out front on the street. I had about 45 miles to go.

  Somewhere in the first half of the trip my engine oil light came on and I pulled over to add oil. I was frantically looking for a quart of oil but couldn’t find one when one of the voices told me plainly where to find it, this was unusual as the voices never before provided me with useful information but generally disinformation, yet the oil was where they said it was. I added the oil to the engine, then, the voice insisted that I add another quart. But I thought this was a trick to get me to overfill the engine so that there would be an excess of leaking oil which could cause an engine fire, I figured they’d like that. I refused. They got angry, and somewhere down the road they shouted out in a very loud, atypical way, “Mind control! Mind control! Mind control!” and laughing maniacally. The sound of the voice actually reverberated the paneling of the van, this was no “voice inside of my head” this time.

Again my heart was racing all the more and I still wanted to stop and get aspirin, fearing a heart attack, but I was in no shape to be around people at this point. I was on the I-5 hwy southbound at this point going about 55 mph. The engine of the old van was running beautifully and I noticed the tire sound pleasantly humming, then suddenly the tire and engine sound became deep resonate soulful singing. Wow! It was as if a company of angels were calming my fevered brain, it was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard besides God’s voice. My heart rate slowed, I gained some courage, the bad voices were gone, what an incredible relief! I really did think, and still do, that angels were singing, their presence strengthened me against the very foreboding darkness that I had found myself in. In my mind they sounded like a company of warriors encamped during the night in the enemy’s territory, encouraging one another with song until first light when they would strike and take back from the enemy what rightfully belonged to their Lord.

So the fever of fear broken, and in my mind, saved by angels, my mind had the freedom to think of other things, and what my mind turned to, away from the fear of the Devil, was deep sorrow. Sorrow for having sinned before God. And also alternately, a great, smothering weight of guilt that was just too much to carry anymore.

I was a wreck but I drove on and made it to Randy’s, I suspect around 11pm. I got out of the van and before I went to Randy’s door I dropped to my knees out in the street at my vans front wheel and begged God to forgive me, I couldn’t carry all of that weight of sin and guilt. As I was kneeling in prayer against the front wheel with my feet and lower legs out in the narrow street a car began coming down the road towards me. I thought, I better move my feet or they’ll get run over but I told myself that it would be better to lose my feet than to interrupt my confession to God, I needed His mercy more than anything. So I laid my burden down before the Lord (and the car missed me). Then I went and, thankfully, found Randy home. I didn’t tell him what I was going through but he could clearly tell I was in bad shape and allowed that I could park out front for the night. After spending some time inside I excused myself and went back out to my van to get some badly needed sleep. And…

The Heavenly meeting place dream:

• A dream of the night (1998′)…

Part 1

I found myself at an inn, empty except myself, seated at a table which had a glass of beer on it for my refreshment. The room was spacious and had many tables and chairs, I think it was a large log structure, lots of amber colored wood, it was beautiful. It is my favorite kind of room and color of wood.

Then three men approached me, together. The over-arching impression, that still remains of them that I can recall, is that of love and kindness. Love, and that they knew everything about me yet mentioned nothing of my sin, and that they were clearly holy. I asked them, “Where is everybody?” and the one in the middle of them said with great humility, in the kindest of tones, “They’re out working.” / (11-28-18: I now know that this was Jesus (and two angels?). Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Jesus)
Matthew 11:29 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/mat.11.29.NKJV

Part 2

Next, I found myself unclothed in the hands of a physician dressed in white with closely cropped white hair, being examined like a newborn infant would be. He examined every inch of me and pronounced, “He’s okay”.

Part 3

Then I found myself looking across a room towards a wall that was partially open (like a pony wall), and Jesus, in traditional garb and long hair walked over to me and said, indicating to the contents of the other side, which was filled with every kind of sexual immorality, as an orgy, “Do you want that?” Quickly, I answered, “No.”

Part 4

Then I saw a woman on a couch or love-seat. I looked into her eyes and we bonded instantly, knowing each other in a special way, for where we were. I went to her and we embraced. (I have since named her, Faith and keep an eye out for her, hoping to see her again.)

Part 5

Next, “Faith” and I were seated in a well lit classroom, at school type desks. There was a chalkboard. And at the front of the room, before us was a Teacher at his desk who gave each of us, a magazine sized book with a plain cover. It was then time for Faith and I to go and we gathered at a submarine type hatch in the floor with a  ladder descending below it.

Part 6

Then we went (Faith first) down the ladder that landed on a catwalk over a large expansive room filled with rows of machines. After I followed Faith down the ladder, into the world,  I could no longer see her…and I didn’t like this place.

Then I awoke in my van, realized where I was now, and wanted immediately to go back to that place where I had just been (not the mechanical room but Heaven). So, I purposely went back to sleep to get back to that wonderful place. 

Part 7

And it worked…but then it didn’t, because I found myself unable to get back into that heavenly classroom, Heaven, where love abounded, because when I climbed up the ladder I found the hatch was only partially open. But I did try, I tried squeezing myself through the narrow opening but only managed to get my head and shoulders in, and then I was stuck. Next thing I knew, I woke again in my van. 

Dream end

(I sometimes think that I’m somehow still in that position, as in the dream, head and heart in Heaven, my feet still on earth. No…Jesus is the way, the ladder and stairway to Heaven, I was still supported by Christ.)

The lasting impressions of this dream:

• God shows loving kindness for those who repent.
• There is refreshment in the Lord.
• Upon examination I was found to be alive and well…born-again.
• God gives grace (help in time of need).
• The Lord is perfect in every way and most highly desirable.
• The Lord Jesus will put you to the test, he has and is testing me anyhow.
• The books Faith and I each received were books of dreams that we would have for God’s purposes such as our instruction and comfort.
• I’m saved!